


”Nii-sama?! When — How did you get a tan?!”

by flexdimension



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Big Brother Mokuba, Cheeky Atem, Crack, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Kaiba, Post-Dark Side Of Dimensions, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 11:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17866136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flexdimension/pseuds/flexdimension
Summary: The day Kaiba Seto comes back to his dimension gorgeously tanned like a god is the day Mokuba realizes the universe hates him.This is an emergency that his brother is completely oblivious to. Luckily, Mokuba is here to protect his virtue from thirsty fans all around the world.





	”Nii-sama?! When — How did you get a tan?!”

With everything that has happened over the course of his life, Mokuba learned to be flexible, adaptable.

Having your soul stolen by a fabulous older man?

Seeing someone you know be mind controlled into dueling life and death with their best friend?

Learning someone you know being an actual real life Ancient Egyptian pharaoh?

Having a crazy sociopathic alter ego thanks to a golden mystical item trying to kill you?

Your brother able to dimension travel because of his massive crush on a dead man?

 _Really_ puts a damper on skepticism.

Okay, so, hearing that Yugi’s alter ego was the spirit of an ancient pharaoh was kinda cool. Seeing his brother build Duel Links then a dimensional cannon was even cooler. …Even if it worried the shit out of him to see his only family left be that reckless with his own life without knowing if he would come back from it alive. (He did, of course, but still…!)

He wasn’t as surprised as much as in proud awe that, yes, his nii-sama managed visit a _3,000 year old dead man_ with technology and magic, that he built alone.

Not that it stopped him turning the tables and becoming the big brother after that. Despite Seto reassurances there’s no danger, he knew his brother; even if there was, he would take those risks and not say anything. Because, _of course_ , just once wasn’t enough. When it came to Yu—no, Atem, it never was. Not for nii-sama.

That, too, he learned to accept and account for. He made sure Seto ate healthily (“You can’t go unless you eat it all, nii-sama!”) and kept a sharp eye on him for a few days after each visit (“No all-nighters right after a trip, nii-sama.”)

If only because visiting Atem did what he could not: it gave nii-sama’s full smile back. He knew Seto needed those trips, even he would never admit to such a thing.

…Thus, his current predicament.

Nii-sama always came back more or less looking the same, except to those that knew him well. Face and posture unwrinkled and relaxed, the blues of his eyes shining. Lips just stretched upwards as if he just finished smiling, not as demanding and grumpy… Pale skin and brown hair.

This time it was almost the same.

Almost.

He looked a bit disgruntled if faintly amused but… but… he was _brown_.

Not that the color of skin was bad or anything! In fact, it was just the opposite!

Mokuba looked over the stopped employees around them, all of whom were staring right at Seto. Mouths were agape and some were even drooling. Gross. The ladies, especially near the front desk, practically had hearts in their eyes as their eyes roamed up and down his brother’s form. Double gross!

Taking a peek up, Mokuba couldn’t help but marvel himself. His brother’s features were already attracted fans of all types with his sapphire eyes, height, and creamy pale skin making him stand out like an idol. With his cold and blunt personality, many of ladies (and even some men!) have been attracted to his “bad boy” attitude (what an insult to nii-sama) and expressed their love. He got enough love letters to start a third novel.

But, now… Mokuba winced mentally. Apparently, the sun in Ancient Egypt finally won because rather than burn him like sun did here, it tanned him wonderfully. _Too_ wonderfully. Unlike the tanning booths and ganguro girls, it looked good — even, no tan lines peeking out his sleeves or collar, just a nice, smooth and soft-looking tan. Rather than stick out like a sore thumb, it looked natural, bringing out the blue of his eyes and the light brown highlights of his hair, his abs underlining the look.

All in all, his brother looked even more _handsome_. Exotic. Like a delicious espresso.

Criminally so, if the looks were anything to go by. He was quite sure one of these guys were going to try something stupid by the end of the day with the way they were staring.

 

* * *

 

Lo and behold, he was right.

He just didn’t expect it to be one of the _managers_. He was too old for nii-sama, for god’s sake!

…Why on Earth did nii-sama wear his usual tight black clothing Mokuba would forever be annoyed at. Didn’t he know that he wasn’t a skinny twig in anymore?! With a six pack and muscle cuts in his arms and legs — that black spandex did nothing to hide but rather defined it quite well and combined with his new tanned skin…

Nii-sama looked like a beach model, not a businessman.

Gah! Feeling grossed out by his thoughts, Mokuba grumped at his computer screen as a manager got promptly fired over his screams of love and admiration. Ew.

He half contemplated on the idea of scolding his brother….

“Please, Mr. Kaiba! I beg you, give a chance to show you my love! I’m an accomplished lover—“ Mokuba cover his ears, cringing. _TMI, dude!!_

Mind made up, if just so he wouldn’t have to go through such an experience again, Mokuba stood and marched over to his brother’s office.

 

* * *

 

OF COURSE! It would figure his brother saw nothing wrong with his clothes! Hasn’t he looked in the mirror?! (“What? …It’s this silly tan, isn’t it? I _told_ Atem it looked terrible on me—“) Dear god, he was doomed.

Doomed to protect his utterly oblivious brother from perverts.

For the first time in his life, he prayed Seto had another trip scheduled reeeeaaaaal soon.

 

* * *

The universe hated him.

Rather than scheduling another trip, Seto decided to push it back. (“Work is piling up, Mokuba. I’ll visit him later. He can entertain himself.”) There _were_ deadlines… which meant meeting with investors and scientists and engineers and fellow businessmen and that way too many people as far as he was concerned.

He’ll just have stick to his brother like glue… even if it meant being tortured with boredom that was business meetings.

First, text Isono in case Seto got slippery.

_**Isono-no**_ : Yes, sir.   
_**Isono-no**_ : Would you like me to buy you a stick, Mokuba-sama?

….Things were worse than he thought if even _Isono_ was cracking jokes.

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : …Yes. Make sure it has a sharp end too, Isono. 😈

 

* * *

 

“Mokuba. What’s going on?”

“What makes you think something is going on, nii-sama?”

“…You’ve been following me since I got back. And you have a stick…”

“Oh, this? Just roleplaying for the RPG we’re working on! I want to have a badass staff wielding monk, so I decided to do this to get a feel!”

“…It’s a Duel Monsters RPG.”

“Well, he can hit people with his staff when they try to steal his rare card or when he wins against the bad guys! Possibilities, nii-sama! We can even add attacking with dragons~”

“………hn.”

 

* * *

 

Shit, he forgot about social media. Mokuba hurriedly scrolled through his feeds and found crappy or blurry pictures snapped quickly of Seto. The resulting comments were… well, he just glad he didn’t have much innocence left.

He was also glad nii-sama had a preference for covering most of his body because he was sure any little skin reveal would only fuel the beasts’ hunger. At least, Mokuba scrolled a bit more, it seemed like a lot of people were skeptical of these pictures.

 **ayko21** : no way is he tan!! he never heads to the beach.

 **greatsword-kun:** www who knew @kaiba_seto was secretly a ganguro girl! www

 **minajin** : think he went a tanning bed?! www

 **Minako-chan** : No way! That tan looks too good for such a thing. It has to be from the sun, Seto-sama isn’t the type to use a tan bed!

 **Pippiko** : @greatsword-kun @minajin how dare you guys make fun of seto-sama!!! he’s NOT a ganguro girl!! he’s too prety for that!!!

Mokuba shook his head, for once, silently thankful for his brother’s antisocial and hermit tendencies. It made keeping things on the down-low easier as long as he didn’t force his nii-sama out.

“And today, we have a special announcement for KaibaCorp’s CEO, Kaiba Seto, himself! Well-known worldwide for his amazing duel disks, he has announced he will reveal something in more amazing today! Switch over to the conference stage, Juri! Hurry and see!!” the announcer demanded with a giggle.

Mokuba felt cold sweat all over and in seemingly slow motion, raised his head to the TV to see his brother on it… in full view of cameras… and millions of fans….

“NII-SAMA, NOOOOO!”

_ping!_

_**Cinnamon Roll Yugi**_ : Uhh… hey, Mokuba-kun? Is that your brother on the TV?? When did he get such a good-looking tan???

Simultaneously, millions of ovaries and penises cried out in need.

 

* * *

 

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : This is all your fault.

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : Hm?

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : Do you know what you’ve done?  
_**UI!Moku**_ : The havoc you’ve wroth?  
_**UI!Moku**_ : The casualties?!

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : …It would help if I knew WHAT I’ve done.

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : Nii-sama….

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : Did something happen to— ah.  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : I wasn’t sure if it carried over.  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : It looks pretty good, right? (✧ω✧)  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : I was amazed… Too bad you didn’t see him before he changed.  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : He looked too handsome. ♡✧( ु•⌄• )  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : Mokuba?

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : …do you know what you’ve done.  
_**UI!Moku**_ : what i’ve been through?  
_**UI!Moku**_ : to protect his virtue??  
_**UI!Moku**_ : you can’t visit him ever again!!  
_**UI!Moku**_ : you monster!  
_**UI!Moku**_ : come fix this! immediately!!

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : ?? What’s going on?  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : Mokuba?  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : MOKUBA!

 

* * *

 

 _ **Atem**_ : Seto…

 _ **Seto**_ : What?

 _ **Atem**_ : Is everything okay?

 _ **Seto**_ : Yes?  
_**Seto**_ : Why wouldn’t it be?

 _ **Atem**_ : Mokuba… seemed worried.

 _ **Seto**_ : Aa. He’s been a bit weird.

 _ **Atem**_ : You’re not worried about that?

 _ **Seto**_ : No.  
_**Seto**_ : If he needs anything at all, he knows he can talk to me.  
_**Seto**_ : Enough about him.  
_**Seto**_ : Let’s talk about YOU.

 _ **Atem**_ : Me?

 _ **Seto**_ : Yes, you. You and your dumb idea to give me a tan.

_**Atem:** _ You seemed to be enjoying it when you were getting it. ( ･ ω<)☆    
_**Atem**_ : Why the complaints now?

 _ **Seto**_ : I enjoyed the blowjob! Not getting cancer!

 _ **Atem**_ : Seto. You can’t get cancer over here.

 _ **Seto**_ : Whatever.  
_**Seto**_ : It’s a problem. One you caused. Thanks to you, I keep getting looks and every one is distracted.

 _ **Atem**_ : Go on…

 _ **Seto**_ : It’s like no one is paying attention to me. How many times do I have to tell these idiots before they listen? I should just fire them and hire actual competent people. We barely met the deadline for our new game and headgear because no one could do their work, too busy catching flies.

 _ **Atem**_ : …I have a feeling I get what’s going on now.

 _ **Seto**_ : Good. That means you understand what you’ve done.  
_**Seto**_ : I can’t get any work done with people constantly bothering me here. I had multiple employees come bother me for simple stuff even the deadbeat can do. I have no idea why my secretary is letting them in nor why she keeps bothering me for coffee or food. Does she think I hired her to be a nag?

 _ **Atem**_ : Seto…

 _ **Seto**_ : No, I’m not done.  
_**Seto**_ : Until you’ll tell me how to get rid of this stupid tan.

 _ **Atem**_ : Get rid…??  
_**Atem**_ : I don’t know how to do such a thing, Seto.

 _ **Seto**_ : WHAT.  
_**Seto**_ : why not.

 _ **Atem**_ : Mahaad has graciously informed me, you could…

 _ **Seto**_ : ….

 _ **Atem**_ : But it requires staying in a dark place for a long while.  
_**Atem**_ : Which meeeeans not visiting for months!

 _ **Seto**_ : ….

 _ **Atem**_ : Months, Seto!

 _ **Seto**_ : Like hell!  
_**Seto**_ : Tell that magician to kneel over and die.  
_**Seto**_ : I’m going to visit whenever I want!

 _ **Atem**_ : Wheeeen?  
_**Atem**_ : I miss you. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 _ **Seto**_ : Soon.

 _ **Atem**_ : I think your tan looks sexy.

 _ **Seto**_ : You would.

 _ **Atem**_ : It makes your dragon look bigger too. ❤

 _ **Seto**_ : _growls_ Atem…. Be careful. You won’t like the outcome.

 _ **Atem**_ : You sure about that?  
_**Atem**_ : Ahh~ just thinking of your big, fat dragon…  
_**Atem**_ : makes me excited.

 _ **Seto**_ : Give me a month.

 _ **Atem**_ : mmm… i guess i’ll have to play with myself in the meantime~ ♡ (￣З￣) though my fingers aren’t enough, ahh~ I’ll just have to use the toy you brought~

 _ **Seto**_ : NO! Don’t touch yourself!

 _ **Atem**_ : No?  
_**Atem**_ : I’ll just enlist Mahaad’s help then~ I’m sure his _staff_ would be a fun ride…

 _ **Seto**_ : 2 weeks.  
_**Seto**_ : Then I’ll punish you for that mouth of yours before showing everyone who you belong to.  
_**Seto**_ : You won’t be able to walk for days, god or not.

 _ **Atem**_ : _chuckles_ Talk is cheap, Seto.

 _ **Seto**_ : (pic)

 _ **Atem**_ : ahhh ❤ You really do look sexy with that tan. Even with you flipping me off. I can see why the worry is there.

 _ **Seto**_ : What? （￣^￣）

 _ **Atem**_ : Never mind that.  
_**Atem**_ : How about you take that big dragon of yours out so I can get a better look?  
_**Atem**_ : (pic)  
_**Atem**_ : Or are you too afraid you won’t cum without my touch?

 __ **Seto** : fuck. you’re on.

 

* * *

 

Too say the number of fan letters increased would be an understatement. Mokuba was quite sure he could fill an Olympic swimming pool and still have enough left over for the hot tub. The flowery smell of perfume and cutesy scrawl mixed with the tang of cologne and rough writings filled every corner.

It just wasn’t letters. Emails flood them as well, crashing one of their servers from the influx.

Phones were ringing off the hook, no one knowing if they were fans or business.

Employees still stared and drooled whenever Seto walked by, _it’s been three weeks, guys, get over it!!_

TVs were splashed with Seto’s face and body, because that just HAD to be the one occasion his brother decided to change his look. (He had no doubt it was due to a recommendation rather than a whim on his brother’s part.) His suit was something more stylish, blue and tight-fitting hugging his muscles and curves, with a button popped to show off a sliver of his collar bone (don’t bother asking, it’s also brown) with his card locket around his neck. His hair was slicked a bit off to the side, showing more of his eyes, completing his cool look.

Mokuba was sure the sleeves were supposed to be rolled up, but there was no doubt nii-sama would never do so in public. Either way, it was a good look on him, better than anything anyone, other than possibly Atem, has seen.

Even Yugi-tachi had expressed their surprise when he confirmed (after freaking out, naturally) that, yes, that was his brother. And no, Jounouchi, it’s not a twin!

He had a feeling some members of Yugi-tachi were a little more than surprised. Their demands to come visit had left a foreboding weight in his stomach, but they were friends, he had counted on them for so much… Nothing bad could happen, right?

Yeah.

 

* * *

 

It’s the moment he has been preparing for. Attacks have increased as people started to get desperate for that Seto-booty. ( _EW. WHY._ ) It started innocent at first, a hand on the arm or wrist or on the back or a handshake. Which, if Mokuba wasn’t going crazy with worry, would be kinda brave as no one touched nii-sama and nii-sama made sure of that.

Even now, they were rebuffed quickly, the touch lasting no longer than a few seconds at most (the person who dared touched his back was fired, wherever he worked, poor idiot soul). Then one lady, with the ovaries the size of Japan, slid her hand up his chest, pressing her, pretty big granted, tits to him. All while fluttering her eyes and talking a gross sweet voice.

Seeing Seto glare icicles at her and coldly stating to get off him WAS amusing. But, the dam had broke and from it the water gushed out ( _ewewew_ ), the declarations of love, sickly sweet smiles and fluttering eyelashes, and molesting hands ramping up.

As oblivious as his brother was, Mokuba was quite sure he got what the stick was for when one (totally married!! c’mon!) lady rushed them, no doubt wanting a grope, and got a face full of stick.

It was more satisfying than it should have been.

He was raising Isono’s pay.

Between him, Isono, and Futaba, (with him covering the back, of course, _I see you looking damn cougar!_ ), they managed to protect Seto whenever it was time to enter and leave work.

One look on Seto’s face told Mokuba he was starting to get it.

About time.

He was getting tired of thinking of his brother in sexual terms.

 

* * *

 

Inviting Yugi-tachi was a mistake.

That didn’t stop him from recording Jounouchi, Anzu, Otogi, AND Yugi’s (“Not you too, Yugi!” “Sorry, Mokuba-kun. He made me realize…”) attempts to flirt with his brother. Thank goodness for Honda, the sane one, keeping restraining hands on Jounouchi.

Using all his skills in the shark-infested business world, he managed to keep it as the awkward flirting as toned down as possible, before shooing their yearning guests out.

“Mokuba.” At his hum, Seto continued a bit hesitantly. “…were they flirting with me?”

“Yup!” he chirped. His thumbs flew over the keyboard, preparing the final weapon. One that would end this madness, once and for all.

Seto mumbled something that didn’t sound like Japanese (his eyebrow has been raised.) “…Why?” is what he finally responded with.

Mokuba glanced up, annoyed. Hadn’t he explained it weeks ago? “Because you’re tanned and fit, nii-sama.”

His brother went silent, face pensive, so Mokuba went back to his phone, absently wondering how big a file size he could send to another dimension. Well, whatever, he’ll figure it out. Distracted as he was, he almost missed Seto’s mumble, “So Atem was right about me looking sexy…”

“Yeah, I told you that,” he added. A sly grin slid onto his face. “Think of it like this: you’re like expensive deluxe chocolate dog food and everyone is Jounouchi.”

“Dogs can’t eat chocolate,” his brother replied automatically. Mokuba huffed, but gleefully watched as horror slowly spread out from Seto’s stoic mask until it covered his whole face. “Oh Ra.”

He rose the other eyebrow, that was a new one, but ignored it for more _entertaining_ matters. “And that dog food is Jounouchi’s favorite.” Okay, so he couldn’t help but twist it just a little. He loved his big brother, absolutely, nonetheless this was revenge for appearing on TV without telling him.

As for ignoring his warnings… Mokuba pushed send then stretched. Maybe he’ll go play some video games. He grimaced, he wasn’t looking forward to dealing with PR tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

 _ **Atem**_ : Seto. Come here.  
_**Atem**_ : Now.

 

* * *

 

“Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Yes, nii-sama.” Seeing the other hesitate, he rolled his eyes. “Just go. Please, before Japan has to issue a national emergency due to horniness.”

He got a slanted look for that which he easily ignored. “I’m going to ignore that.” He ruffled Mokuba’s hair with a smile. “See you later.”

Mokuba nodded, smiling back, “Have fun with the Pharaoh. Take your time.”

Seto snorted, but he was already vanishing — traveling, hopping, whatever — his tech taking him to another dimension.

Suddenly his phone went off and he hurried to check it.

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : Tell Jounouchi-kun-tachi that if I see him making passes at my queen again, I may have to pay… a visit.

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : k. what about Yugi?

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : He knows.  
_**Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : And well played, but the game is not over yet.

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : i have no idea what game you’re talking about, but don’t you DARE send him back like you did!

_**Damn Pharaoh:** _ What ever do you mean? ( 。 -`ω´-)   
_**Damn Pharaoh:**_ Nice stick. It suits you.

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : if he comes back the same, i’m sending him back.

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : Tempting. Good luck.

 _ **UI!Moku**_ : 🖕  
_**UI!Moku**_ : don’t test me.

 _ **Damn**_ _**Pharaoh**_ : Wouldn’t dream of it.

Why did he ever think the Pharaoh was cool?! Mokuba grumbled heading out, he didn’t get his brother’s obsession with that man at all. If nii-sama came back tanned, the Pharaoh will learn why no one messed with Kaiba Mokuba.

He started putting his newest revenge scheme into motion. If nii-sama could enter other dimensions why not bring others from another dimension? He was sure the Pharaoh wouldn’t mind getting a taste of Seto’s super popularity up close….

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, congrats! You suffered through my first garbage comedy fic for AO3. That is your prize. (｀▽´)
> 
> The idea of a brown Kaiba was inspired by card-gays at tumblr and I feel in love with the idea. Naturally, since I can't draw I had to write it. This isn't quite what I had in mind originally, but Mokuba was fun to write for, more so than I imagined. Once I decided on him the rest came kinda naturally. (｀・ω・´)” Of course, prideshipping had to be in there somehow; it is life.
> 
> ...I think I put more time editing this sucker to make it pretty than actually writing. Whoops.
> 
> Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Trying to write these dorks IC was harder than I had thought. (○｀ε´○)


End file.
